I think I might be diseased/crazy/broken, or maybe just a hypochondriac

I swear everyday something new is wrong with me. The other day I was thinking about how crazy I am and can't concentrate on what I want to concentrate on, but can't seem to stop concentrating on things that don't matter. Also, the fact that I have absolutely no stress-handling skills whatsoever. Also, the fact that I have mild insomnia. And all of this is at the ripe old age of 22 (almost 23).

So I came to the conclusion that I am crazy and I went on a medical website and did an ADHD screening test. It said that if you scored over 70 it was likely you had it. I got 79. Yay me! But it also said that it doesn't mean I have it, I could possibly have a manic disorder or an anxiety disorder instead. Also awesome.

So there's that.

And also the fact that I swear I have arthritis. Everytime the temperature changes and gets either warmer or colder, all of my joints hurt. Elbows, jaw, hips, knees, ankles, toe joints, and sometimes even my wrists. This also happens if I do any activity. So either it's arthritis or I don't drink enough milk. Who knows.

I also have thoughts on and off that I have fibromyalgia (correct spelling?).

All because I'm just cool like that.

The Perfect Words

This blogger just took the words right out of my mouth. Well, pretty much.

Top 10 Things Not To Say To Someone Experiencing Infertility

Yep.

Frustration (Sorry. Being that it's 2:40am, it's a little difficult to concentrate and come up with a better title)

So for the past few days I have been having "symptoms". I am just going to tell you right off the bat that what follows might be TMI for most people. Just a warning.

Some back info: I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome [or so that's what the doctors "diagnosed" me with after testing and not finding anything else wrong with me]), which causes every known symptom under the sun. Well, maybe not that extreme, but pretty close. I get headaches, heartburn, nausea, vomitting, indigestion, bloating, gas, constipation, diarrhea, dull chest pains, and don't forget the stomach aches.
The stomach aches come in different forms. Sometimes, they're just mild cramps in the pelvic area or abdominal area.
Sometimes, it feels like acid is eating away at my intestines and stomach and will eventually eat thrugh to my skin and spill out all over the floor.
Sometimes, it feels like someone is stabbing me repeatedly all over my abdomen.
Many times when I get these stomach aches, the pain is so unbearable that all I can do is curl up in a ball and cry wishing I would die, because then at least I wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore.
But more often than not, the stomach aches are just mild, and more annoying than painful.

That is what I have been feeling like for the past few days. The problem is that the pain I've been having is in the pelvic region, and could be one or a combination of 3 things: 1) just an IBS flare up caused by the crappy food I have been eating lately and/or stress
2) PMS cramps because it's almost that time
3) some sort of implantion or other pregnancy related cramps *fingers crossed*

Plus, (and TMI again) my boobs have been hurting, which could also either be PMS or pregnancy related.

Hence the frustration.

My husband and I are "unnatural"

So I've recently been watching youtube videos and reading the comments discussing homosexuality and why some people think it's wrong, outside of supposed Christian reasons.
According to a lot of people who are against homosexuality, it is wrong because it is unnatural, because two people of the same sex cannot reproduce.
So I guess that means that my husband and I are unnatural and just as "wrong" as homosexuals because we can't reproduce. And same goes for any other heterosexual couples with infertility.
I wonder if these people against homosexuality think about that when they try to come up with reasons out of thin air.

Trying to be hopeful without gettting my hopes up

Is that called being cautiously optimistic? Well, DH and I worked really hard on the TTC this cycle (we've kind of been slacking lately). So, naturally when it's about this time and I start getting "symptoms", my brain goes right to thinking I'm pregnant. But, yay, lucky for me, and every other woman TTC, early pregnancy symptoms are exactly the same as PMS symptoms. All of them can occur in either, sometimes or not at all. (Did that sentence make sense?) I won't get into the details of my symptoms because that's probably TMI.

So right now I'm trying to fight the hopefulness of being pregnant because that always leads to misery. (But my fingers are crossed...)

Great Ideas+Bad Memory=Horrible Blog Entries

So I've discovered that I have many ingenious, intelligent, hilarious, witty, and/or profound ideas/thoughts throughout the day, but damn it if I can actually remember anything that pops into my brain. That is why I decided I need to invest in a good journal (equipped with attached pen, or else I would most likely never be able to actually locate a pen to write said thoughts down, thus defeating the entire purpose of buying the journal) to write these little brain babies down (Bahaha! Brain babies. Who says that?). So since I can't remember any of the actually good stuff I had to write here today, I leave you with this.

Alberta winter = boots

So because I live in Alberta, Canada, it is necessary for me to wear my Ugg-style boots to work most days. Today I saw the temperature was supposed to be a high of 0 degrees Celsius. Whoopee! That's DAMN warm for January! So what do I do? I decide it's a good idea to wear my flats (with no socks) to work today. Well, on my way to work at around 12:30pm, the radio gives me a lovely announcement: there is a heavy snowfall warning for today, and it should start around 5pm. That's awesome since I am working until 9pm tonight so there should be a lovely amount of snow when I go outside. Of course, when I went out to my car just after 9, I am met with a great present. I didn't even have time to brush the snow off my car before my feet froze off. Just a lesson to myself not to wear flats in the winter time in Alberta. You'd think I would have learned this by now seeing as I've lived my whole life here.

I try to be clever, but it always ends up sounding lame...

I thought I would start up a blog. About my TTC and my life in general, I guess. Apparently, I think my life is interesting enough that other people might possibly read it. So, since I decided this, I somehow was under the impression that I would all of a sudden become this clever witty person who would post clever and witty anecdotes and whatnot on my blog. But as it seems, this is all I could come up with for my very first blog post ever. Oh well. Please try not to be too disappointed.