CD7/Treatment Day 5

So I went in to the clinic for monitoring today and it was a way better experience than last time. I got in really quick and everything was done swiftly.
On the ultrasound, they saw 9 follicles on the left, measuring 9-12mm, and 1 follicle on the right, measuring 8mm. There are not as many as I had hoped, but we will see what is there when I go back on Wednesday.
They told me I probably won't have to take Cetrotide yet, the Antagonist, but it depends on my bloodwork results. They will call me later this afternoon if they want me to start on it.

So far today I am feeling pretty good, not as sick as yesterday. Had some cramping on the left side, which makes sense after seeing the ultrasound today, and been feeling really hungry again today. I have a minor headache and a little bit of nausea.
My mood is ok; I'm kind of tired and I have to work later. Oh well. It's life.

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CD6/Treamtent Day 4

I woke up this morning around 7am with the WORST stomachache, so I went to the bathroom and was in there for about half an hour (diarrhea. Sorry for the TMI). After that, I weighed myself, like I have been doing every morning to check for signs of OHSS(Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome), and I have lost 3 pounds in 2 days. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. I went back to bed and woke up again at around 10:30am having to go to the bathroom again. When I was done, I went back to bed again and didn't get up until 12:50pm, and I woke up with a horrible headache and my stomach was still hurting.

These drugs are a bitch. But it will all be worth it.

CD5/Treatment Day 3

How I'm feeling today:
  
   Physically
   -Mild pelvic cramps that are more uncomfortable than painful.
   -VERY hungry. I'll eat something and then be super hungry 5 minutes later.
   -Peeing a LOT. About once each hour, sometimes more often.
   -A little bit of nausea.
   -Headache that has lasted since I woke up this morning, and I still have it. And Tylenol doesn't seem to be helping.

   Emotionally
   -I have been in a really good mood all day, very happy. :)

I also had acupuncture this morning, which I'm positive is helping.

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Start of our IVF journey

Ok, so I had a 31 day cycle, and then got AF on Tuesday Feb. 19. So this morning (Feb. 21), we went to the Fertility Clinic for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork to start this cycle.
The ultrasound was good, everything looked as it should. I am prescribed Gonal-F 300 units/day and Luveris 75 units/day, for 5 days. I will go back into the clinic on Feb. 25 for ultrasound and bloodwork again. Depending on how the eggs are growing, I may have to start an Antagonist, called Cetrotide, to slow down the growth of some of the follicles so they are all around the same size.

So, I did my first injection tonight of a Gonal-F/Luveris solution. When I used Gonal-F for the IUIs, it made me pretty sick and the highest dose I was ever on was 150 units. Now I'm on twice as much. We'll see what happens with these meds/doses.

Crossing my fingers I respond well and quickly to the meds.

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Depressing...

Hey, sorry for all the depressing poems. When I'm feeling down, it helps me to get my feelings out. Now I don't feel so bad. I'm not as stressed. Which is good, because we will be doing IVF soon, if this cycle is a bust.

I am on CD27, so I should be getting AF today or tomorrow probably. Then we can start our IVF cycle. I am excited and nervous at the same time. But I will remain positive that this will work. My doctor has said we have a 60% chance of getting pregnant with this IVF cycle. That might not sound very high, but it is, compared to the 15% chance we had when we were doing IUIs.

So DH and I, and all of our family and friends that know, will be praying for this to work. And if you are reading this, can you please pray too? Thank you.

I miss you

Where were you
When I needed you the most
You used to always be there
I could count on you
I needed you
I need you
I need someone to confide in
To ask for advice
I've been through so much
And you weren't there
You aren't here
I'm making a lot of changes
And I need you
But you're gone
And I don't know if I'll ever get you back

Untitled

Every day is a new day
Full of great and wondrous possibilities
Or full of sadness and loss
Loss of life
Loss of childhood
Loss of innocence
Loss of hope
The slate is wiped clean
When you go to sleep at night
What will tomorrow bring
Anything is possible

Sweet Angel

I wonder what you would have looked like
What your personality would have been
Blonde hair with a sweet demeanor
Or maybe wide eyes with a mischevious smile
Oh, what possibilities there were for you
But instead, you were taken way too soon
Before I could even get used to the idea
This is why I believe in God and heaven
For I will see you one day
My sweet little angel

My Baby

I can see your face
Such a clear image
Like I've met you before
Those big brown eyes
Those soft curls
That dimpled smile
I will meet you one day, my baby boy
But for now
We can meet in my dreams

Infertility Song

I havent written any posts in awhile, been busy and not feeling it. But lately, I've written some poetry and I thought I'd share it here. Not sure if they good or not, but they are my true feelings that I needed to get out.

There is a song in my head
It plays over and over
I can't seem to remember the words
Or the tune
Just the feeling
The feeling of fear
And anticipation
And inadequacy
And hope
My mind and heart are in a battle
With eachother
And with themselves
Who will win
As the song keeps going
Like a broken record
In my mind

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